Optimal Influence

Few people like to be told they’re wrong. It subcommunicates that your opinion is more important than theirs - and that’s probably not going to win friends or influence anyone!

And yet, that’s what people often do, even without realizing it. For instance, a person might say to you in a discussion:

“I don’t agree with that…”

“I see where you’re coming from, but…”

Or if you’ve ever encountered a salesperson, they might “overcome” your objection like this:

“I understand why you say you can’t afford my widget, Mr Jones… and in many ways you’re right… but…”

Each of these three examples are basically different ways of telling the other person they’re wrong. Sure, the wording may be more polite than saying, “You’re wrong!”… but the meaning is basically the same.

Another side effect of subcommunicating “You’re wrong” is that it implies “I know better”.

Now, maybe you do know better… maybe you are right… but how do you feel conversing with an arrogant, cocky, my-way-is-always-best kind of person?

Optimal Persuasion isn’t a battle of egos, it’s about being as persuasive as possible. Occasionally, being arrogant and cocky works, but more often it’s just a turn-off. You can be confident, without being arrogant.

Here’s a rule of thumb I like to keep in mind, especially when I need to persuade or make a request:

In the context of persuasion, HOW you say something is equally or more important than WHAT you say.

In my free report 7 Secrets To Optimal Persuasion we discussed how everyone has their own “map of the world” in their mind, based on their own unique beliefs, perspectives, experiences and values.

Rather than telling them how wrong they are (in whatever way), why not first recognize that their opinion is valid and valuable, based on their “map of the world”, and then help them to expand their map.

As I said in the report, this is not merely using reassuring clichés like “I know where you’re coming from…”, but it means really making an effort to understand their point of view, which I showed you how to do in the report.

Only when you understand their map, can you help them to expand it, using stories and metaphors, and “What if…” scenarios.

So put aside your ego… and start being Optimally Persuasive!

And make sure you’ve grabbed a free copy of my report, 7 Secrets To Optimal Persuasion.

Influence Influence, map of the world, opinion, Persuasion, right, wrong